it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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