also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
