PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
