She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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