I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
