booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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