Buhtt sex?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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