Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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