and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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