he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
