Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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