hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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