ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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