Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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