Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
