First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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