he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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