Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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