VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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