She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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