Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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