I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
