oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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