I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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