you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
