I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize