I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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