the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
