I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
