Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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