Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
