He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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