I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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