so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
