he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
