I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize