You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
