okay pat passed out under dana's car
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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