Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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