So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
