guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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