Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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