break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The dick lei will go down in squad history
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
