I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
