He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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