I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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