Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
