can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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