He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
