hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
