I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
