Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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