i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You're like the curious george of whores
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
