Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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