last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize