I just threw up on my dentist
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
