u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize