turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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