Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
