Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
