we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
either way he was missing a nipple.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
