So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dear god my vagina.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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