Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
