I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
