Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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